Quote1 He came to us. We don’t know very much about him except he’s from the sea. He’s acclimating to the world of humanity right now, and he’s always just got stuff on his mind. Internal struggles. He’s trying to figure out his viewpoint on the world around him. So, Fish, what’s on your mind right now? Quote2
--Chris Gethard[src]

Ask the Human Fish What's on His Mind is a bit where anyone can ask the Human Fish what he is thinking about at any moment. Callers can ask the Human Fish what he is thinking about, or ask him their own questions that he will answer. The Human Fish only communicates in 'battle format' where things have to be phrased as '___ vs. ___.'


The First Episode

  • Chips vs. Nachos: Chips
  • Andrew Lloyd Webber vs. Andrew Jackson: Andrew Lloyd Webber

The Third Episode Episode

  • Howard Stern vs. Howard Hesse: Howard Hesse
  • Greeks vs. Romans: Greeks
  • Eastern Medicine vs. Eastern Parkway: Eastern Parkway
  • Ice Cream vs. Frozen Yogurt: Ice Cream
  • Batman vs. A Very Fat Man: A Very Fat Man
  • Hot Dogs vs. Sausage Rolls: Sausage Rolls

The Tazapper Episode

  • The Secret of Nimh vs. Watership Down: Watership Down
  • Frozen vs. Solid: Frozen
  • Jack Klugman vs. Tony Randall: Tony Randall
  • Chairs vs. Benches: Chairs

The Whiffle Bat Gang Episode

  • Traffic cones vs. Cylinders: Traffic cones
  • Tornadoes vs. Whirlwinds: Whirlwinds
  • Freedom vs. The Zoo: Freedom
  • Human vs. Fish: No answer
  • The Sky vs. The Dirt: The Sky
  • Raw dog vs. Bareback: Raw dog

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